This is all we have.
Apr 20, 2015
We live as if we are immortal. Well yes we are – but our bodies’ definitely aren’t. Looking beyond our present situation or current drama is never easy. We are stuck in the moment without actually living in it. Real living. Being present and allowing life to be.
I’m not good at it. My grasshopper mind tries to rule me and mostly succeeds. I’m not proud about it. Self-help books have not helped much thus far – sadly. Staying in the moment is a real challenge. I have notes on my fridge to remind me but I open and close the door intent on my next job, the next meal, or how piggy the fridge is and how it really needs a clean and general sort out. Being brought up to “waste not and want not” the left overs accumulate so fast that they are wearing fur coats before I find them again. I never even notice the reminder secured by my smiley face magnet to stay in the moment. I have just distanced myself from it with another to do on my to-do-list
Do you affimate (you won’t find this word in the dictionary but isn’t it superb)? I’m hopeless at it. I can’t stand in front of the mirror and say “I love myself” because while saying it I am too busy looking at my wrinkles or blood shot eyes thinking “I must have an early night tonight” or “I wonder if that newly advertised, because your worth it, anti-wrinkle cream is worth all that money and will it really work”, or “must do something with my hair”. Of course I am missing the point. We all know it’s not about loving the physical but when you are critical of it how can you accept that the divine has chosen to live there. Affirmations to help be in the present work the same way for me, they sound good – in theory.
As always for me life is the greatest teacher and reminder of what is real. Yesterday’s gone – forever. We all know that. Tomorrow is just a figment of our imagination. And may never come, we can all intellectualize that. Yet I go about my day, as most do probably, thinking that it, I, will just go on day in, day out, if not forever, well for a long time.
Hearing about the recent German plane crash killing all on board made me stop. In my tracks. A Pilot suffering from depression and killing not only himself but all on board. When those passengers boarded they thought they were in safe hands, it was just another journey. Their family and friends not travelling with them thought they would meet up again sooner or later. All those lives altered. Nothing will be the same again - ever. How many had got on that plane being in the moment – enjoying life – until the last moment? How many last moments are wasted because we think that there will always be more?
It has made me think. More importantly it has made me get out of my dominating head that quite honestly doesn’t always work in my best interests, and into the moment which is the only place where life can happen. I want to hold it. I want to savour it. I want to enjoy it. I want to truly live it. And I am grateful for it. Very grateful.
Now tomorrow or the next day, or the next I will get back on the Ferris wheel of the future or the past I have no doubt. Learning for me seems to be slow and some-what laborious. But for this moment of stopping, for the glimmer of KNOWING, for this time of being present I give thanks. And humbly ask that my head may be tamed – eventually.
Enjoy your moments.